A summer "off," a move, and a bit of an identity crisis

With this move, my oldest went from being on the “older kid” end of elementary school, to the lower end of an “upper elementary school” that extends through sixth grade. My middle child went from going into a middle grade, to the “oldest” grade at the PK-2 school; and my baby, my BABY is starting his full time education, exactly one week from today. That last one is what is about to put me over the edge of my Momsanity.

Read More
Day 22: How have you changed in the past two years

I didn’t learn these things overnight. I’ve passed through so many different phases, these past two years, that I’m mostly grateful that somehow it seems I’ve meshed together all the different pieces. Old me, new me, young me, less young me (ha!). But most gratefully, I’ve learned that…

Read More
Day 21: One of your favorite shows

One day, after binge watching a bunch of episodes with my mother before bed, we jovially discussed how much it was obvious that the main characters were still in love. They both had other options, but they couldn’t just get it together and get back in synch. That must have really sat in my brain as I dozed off that night, because after I drifted off, I had a dream…

Read More
Megan Courtney
Love me, tender...

It’s so unfuckingbelievably hard to explain. Yes, I’m a “words” girl, but some things don’t come easily, even to the most linguistically talented of people. I’ve been reading the works of Brene Brown and Nora McInerny- my vulnerability, courage and widow role models, respectively. Listening to their stories have really helped me to look in the mirror and face some realities that were incredibly hard to admit…even to myself.

The first of all realities, and the biggest, is that I’m scared.

Read More
Day 19: Disrespecting your parents

But here is where perhaps my old age wisdom kicks in (okay…my early middle age…), if you’re lucky, your parents will be among the closest relationships you’ll ever have. My mom and I have seen some really ugly days, some words said or things done I wasn’t sure we’d ever come back from…but I know she loves me. She knows I love her. I’m solid in my belief that we can get past arguments, and occasional “disrespect,” because I’ve come to realize that being honest in your disagreement doesn’t automatically have to be disrespectful, although it may feel that way in the thick of things.

Read More
Day 13: Someplace I'd like to move, or visit

Every “thing” I’ve done relating to his passing (canceling credit cards, turning off his phone, having his car picked up from the dealer…), took the strength of ten men for me to do. They felt like I was betraying him. After the many firsts I’ve had no choice but to experience, doing something like see a piece of the world that he won’t, well it sure fit the bill of betrayal in my heart. Until now…

Read More
Day 11: the first 10 songs that come up on "shuffle."

Clearly, music has always played a pivotal role in my life. Music can remind me of my best days, and of my worst days, and of all the little and big moments in between. They remind me of days I danced with friends, of days I was lost in my own despair, afternoons riding down the shoreline, riding into adventure, or simply taking the long way home. <3 

Read More